A reader of my newsletter asked…
I hope you can answer my question. What do you do with a 10 year old who refuses to take a shower/bath? He cringes with the touch of water and can only sponge bathe (which really isn't that effective). He doesn't care that he is dirty. I know he has Aspergers but is there anything I can do? This is only getting worse with age–he used to bathe at least every few days.
It is a common symptom of autism that an autistic child, teen or even young adult (or one with Asperger's syndrome) does not have good personal hygiene.
To encourage a person with autism to take baths, keep clean, put on deodorant, etc. you have to use incentives. For example, you have to put it in terms of something they want. If they want friends, you have to explain that no one will want to be their friend if their breath stinks, they have body odor or they look unwashed. If your loved one is only 10 he still likely wants playmates and may not have many or any.
Or he may want something from you…like a trip to the zoo or going to the movies or something special. You make a rule that if he washes with plain water and a washcloth each day for two weeks (or whatever) then he gets what he wants. This is the most effective way to combat this problem.
See my article, Three Tips to Solve Challenges with Personal Hygiene for more information.
I enjoy and appreciate the information, anything to help my son and my own understanding of what life is like for Nicholas. It also helps me educate my son's teacher and EA which this process is ongoing and at times very frustrating.
My name is Matt Turner from Australia. I have a 6 y.o. with autism (fairly mild). I found your work insightful and helpful - my wife is a doctor and spent many hours wading through medical texts to no avail. Our son Finley Turner is a very bright, friendly, healthy, unconditionally loved boy who can lose it sometimes. The guide helped us understand what to do and it helps him as much as us. Thanks for the work and I have recommended you to other parents in similar situations.
I found your articles to be extremely helpful...I applaud you for sharing your story and helping others who are going through similar situations. Thank you for sharing your story.
I was pleasantly surprised by the consistency, and thoroughness of the topics. I think this is a valuable tool. I think this was a valuable tool for me because as a parent we all need a kick in the butt and stay on task, constantly fighting, updating and communicating with caregivers, teachers and finding tools for our children. Keep it up!
I definitely found your information helpful. My grandson was just diagnosed this summer. He is very smart and sweet. We will continue to be an advocate for him thanks to your information. I am including a picture of him. 
"Hi my son of 3 and a half years was diagnosed today, I had concerns so prior to his appointment I researched it and joined your newsletter. The information was so helpful and very supportive it was almost like having a counselor as I opened each email I felt like some one really understood my situation so thanks you so much for that, it's a very hard thing to accept and you do feel alone but with the letters I was given inspiration and hope that not everything was going to be doom and gloom it was and still is a lifeline.
"I have found the newsletters very valuable. I have forwarded them to teachers who work with Matthias when they apply."
I have been reading your Newsletter for a while now. Find attached a picture of my family. Joel is the little boy in glasses. Thanks for putting a smile on me. My knowledge and support is increasing. I feel more positive towards helping my son than ever.
I am Ben's grandmother and see him every single day. He is a joy. What your info does is help us to understand the melt downs that quite frankly we have always put down to the meds that he takes. We have proved your theory of a strict regime for Ben. Each letter adds to our knowledge. Keep it up dear friend. We learn from you every day and will I am sure continue to learn. God Bless you.
May 22, 2011
Children, Parenting Autism, Symptoms